From the Twin-Daddy:
Hunter-Gatherer fantasizes about babies...
Much of my life has been about waiting and plugging along recently. With the U.S out of the World Cup my primary distraction has been yanked viciously from my grasp by dramatic Ghanaians collapsing to phantom injuries in overtime. Here is a hint for Ghana’s team, before collapsing and laying down in the box, try being pregnant with twins sometime. (Seriously, my pregnant wife is tougher than you. I’m just saying.)
The pregnancy train is chugging along and hitting the final leg of the track. We are into the endurance phase as we push toward the end with temperatures spiking over 100 degrees in Sacramento. We are being careful to ensure that Mary is at least comfortable thermally if less than comfortable physically in her current rotund and mommified condition.
Eventually, she will be able to move around again, but until then, every dished washed, every meal prepared, and every late-night trip to let the dog out gets us closer to the destination, and that destination is me boyos. What are the things that I fantasize about when I am scrubbing and cooking, doing my manly things? Here is a short list of the things that keep me scrubbing.
Arms Flappin’
Babies have a reflex that opens their arms wide when they sense that they are falling. All the birthing videos I have seen show the babies opening their arms up. I can only guess that this is the result of suddenly moving from a constricted space to the wide open world. In any case, as odd as it is, I am looking forward to seeing the arms-wide posture when they come out.
“I just wanted to politely inform you that I am unhappy.”
Wallerin' Baby with Arms Wide
The Wallerin’ Boys
It may seem less than brilliant to want to hear your babies cry, but nothing to me sounds healthier than a good holler about the injustice of moving from a dim snug warm place to a bright open cold place. I can feel them kick every night now, and I can see their bodies pushing Mary’s tummy in different directions. Hearing them give a good waller is what I want next. I am certain the wallerin’ will get old soon, but for now, I want it.
Kicks for Daddy
When babies get excited, they often kick their feet. Our boys already do this inside the tummy, and I want to see them kick on the outside. Right now they kick:
- When I get home
- When mommy laughs really hard
- When an action movie is on (especially something with kung fu)
- After dinner
Lately I have been really looking forward to my boys smiling and kicking for me when they see me. This has been on my mind a lot lately.
Working Side by Side
Mary’s work lately has been about growing two boys. It is getting harder for her to move around, and she has been forced to set aside many of the things she normally does. When we got a Great Dane puppy, we planned together how we would raise and train her, and we worked side by side to reach our goals. Today, we have a well-trained dog that will be eleven in November and still gets along fine.
Mary will need some time to recover, but I’m looking forward to getting my partner back. We will work together through the crib side moments, the back and forth chatter over double diaper changes, the stroller planning and tactics, the bassinette assembly coaching, diaper bag packing, and even some sleepy night grump-fests. Twins have been called the extreme sport of parenting, but like any sport, your odds are better when you stack your team with good players. I don’t want to brag, but my wife is one of the best.
Babies Countdown – The Double Header
66 days until September 2
I should take a moment to explain my next additions to the Babies Countdown. If you saw the last post you know our kids are reading in at over 3 pounds each (over 1.5 kilograms each). That puts Alex and Dominic about 1 pound ahead of schedule. By 36 weeks, we could be looking at two 7-pound babies plus all the extra girly plumbing to support them. A woman doesn’t typically carry more than 10 pounds of baby, and if you’re quick on the math, you will figure that 7 + 7 summed is 14 pounds.
I have plenty of faith in my wife’s ability to reproduce and carry kids, but I’m also fairly pragmatic about it. With that in mind, I’m going to add two more countdowns.
10 Pounds in the Sack
Assuming our boys are a pound up on your average kids, I’m counting them down to when they reach five pounds each which is only an additional 1.5 pounds per boy. This is going to be quick I think, and the clock is ticking. I wouldn’t be too surprised if the boys come anytime after we get 10 pounds of boys. (This should be at about 34.5 weeks or about August 2nd.) While I would prefer they wait until at least 36 weeks, we should be ready for them with hospital bags packed just in case Alexander and Dominic decide to hurry things along.
35 days until 10-Pounder Day (August 2)
Your Chances Are 50-50
Half of all twins are born at or before 36 weeks. By this time, we may have about 12 pounds of kiddos in the sack. I tend to dub stuff, so I hereby dub this Median Day, and its color shall be blue.
45 days until Median Day (August 12)
- Wednesday, June 30 is our next appointment with the OB-GYN.
- Early July – Puck gets a cell phone.
- Sometime in mid-July Mary gets fitted for her nursing bra and takes the super-sucker in for cleaning.
- Wednesday, July 21 is our next (and final) appointment with the Perinators.
- Monday, August 2 is our wedding anniversary and 10-Pounder Day.
- Thursday, August 12 and we hit our goal of 36 weeks minimum. This is Median Day.
- Thursday, September 2 and we reach 39 weeks. The OB-GYN has said she doesn’t want Mary to carry beyond this date.
- Thursday, September 9 and we hit 40 weeks. This is our due date even if we know the twins will be here sooner.
- 2 weeks Post Delivery – Schedule a follow up appointment with the Lactation Lady.
- 4 Weeks Post Delivery – Look for baby smiles.
- After the Delivery – 4.5 months of the Twinsanity Interval.
Our Flying Monkeys
Today we complete 29 weeks, and Alexander and Dominic are doing great. The babies continue to excell in growth, and Dominic has taken a significant lead while still keeping their concordance high. Here are the new numbers, and you can compare them with our numbers of 4 weeks ago:
- Dominic (Thing 1):
- 1692 grams
- 3 pounds 12 ounces
- 96th percentile in weight and 17 days ahead of expected growth for a singleton
- Alexander (Thing 2):
- 1553 grams
- 3 pounds 7 ounces
- 84th percentile in weight and 11 days ahead of expected growth for a singleton
- Generic Singleton Baby at 29 weeks:
- 1153 grams
- 2 pounds 5 1/2 ounces
1553 grams /1692 grams = 0.9178
Concordance = 92%
The Perinator was surprised at how well I could still get around with how large I am getting (the two boys together are the size of many a newborn, plus they have the added weight of two amniotic sacs), and so far I’m not showing signs of preterm labor. The Perinator also reaffirmed that the boys’ umbilical cord insertion was not something to worry about. We got a clean bill of health, and we’ll see the Perinators again in 4 weeks – probably for the last time.
The boys had moved from their bunkbed position in the last week and a half or so, and we were eager to find out how they had arranged themselves because we couldn’t quite tell from poking around on the belly. It turns out they are currently practicing their acrobatics with Dominic forming the base of a “T” with his head down, and Alexander is balancing on top of his feet to complete the “T” with his hands up by his face. This does make it seem more likely that Dominic is getting a few extra kicks in on his brother right now.
Alexander and Dominic have both been active lately – distorting Mom’s belly into funny shapes, kicking and pushing little hands and feet out. Sometimes I can feel a movement all the way across the belly from left to right. Alexander continues to be my biggest pusher, and I can generally feel his head or hand on my upper left and his bottom and feet on my upper right.
Now that our boys’ vision continues to improve, we’ve started playing the flashlight game with them. We shine a flashlight on my belly to see if they will kick or push where the light is, and one or both of them responded well to the first game. Puck now has a way to get his boys to “Kick Mommy” when he wants to feel his little tykes move.
And to continue a Twin-Daddy tradition:
Babies Countdown – The Double Header
70 days until September 2
- Wednesday, June 30 is our next appointment with the OB-GYN.
- Sometime in mid-July Mary gets fitted for her nursing bra and takes the super-sucker in for cleaning.
- Wednesday, July 21 is our next appointment with the Perinators.
- Thursday, August 12 and we hit our goal of 36 weeks minimum. From here on the twins could come at any time.
- Thursday, September 2 and we reach 39 weeks. The OB-GYN has said she doesn’t want Mary to carry beyond this date.
- Thursday, September 9 and we hit 40 weeks. This is our due date even if we know the twins will be here sooner.
- 2 weeks Post Delivery – Schedule a follow up appointment with the Lactation Lady.
- 4 Weeks Post Delivery – Look for baby smiles.
- After the Delivery – 4.5 months of the Twinsanity Interval.
My real man!
Today is Puck’s first Father’s Day, though admittedly in a year he’ll get to celebrate a first Father’s Day with our boys in his arms. Still, he’s already a dad. You just have to see the look on his face when he has his hands on my belly and feels his sons kick to know it; it’s one of the most blissfully happy looks I’ve ever seen.
And if you’ve been following the blog at all, you know that he’s not just into becoming a dad for the fun times. From the very beginning, Puck has been a full participant in our pregnancy journey. He’s insisted on shouldering more responsibilities around the house, researched pregnancy and parenting in books and online, prepared meals and snacks to keep me and the boys well fed, and kept a close eye on me to make sure that we’re taking care of me and our boys.
We are looking forward to meeting Dominic and Alexander face-to-face sometime in the next few weeks, and we both know that the first few months after our boys are born (dubbed the Twinsanity Interval by Puck) will be filled with new challenges – like sleeplessness, constant feedings and diaperings, and learning a range of new skills. It’s a truly wonderous feeling to be embarking on parenthood with a partner who is eager for both the joys of holding and playing with our sons and the new responsibilities as well.
Happy Father’s Day, my love!
Me and my dad
As you know from Puck’s recent blog post, when we discovered that we would have to look for a new place and move while I was already hugely pregnant, my dad immediately offered to come out to help us look for a place and then help us move. While we did the home-hunting on our own, we gratefully accepted his offer to help us move. Dad headed our way a week before the big moving day, and he drove half-way across the country with his minivan loaded with baby supplies from my sisters and brother – including twin strollers that Dad and Mom cleaned up and repaired and a new energy efficient washing machine.
It was amazing to have my dad arrive and for him to see the growing belly in person. Plus, Shakti was so excited that she barely let me hug him for 20 minutes, and then she quickly fell into her old habits of following him wherever he would go. We took his minivan full of stuff over to the new house to unload that night. Dad also loves bing cherries, so it was fortunate that the cherries on the cherry trees at our new place were quickly becoming ripe and already tasted yummy.
Having my dad out here to help was a real life-saver. Puck has already mentioned a long list of the incredible number of things Dad got done during his two weeks with us, but there were also so many little things that meant a lot too – like making sure our flashlights had batteries, equiping me with the knowledge and WD-40 needed to fix my office’s lock on campus so I wouldn’t have to fight with it every day, figuring out a way to keep the various gates open in our new yard so Shakti could easily move from the back to the front fenced areas, helping the Internet guy set up our hardline right where we wanted it, working with Puck to set up the garage door openers built into our cars, etc.
Puck and Dad were also very vigilant to keep me from lifting boxes (occasionally I would forget). At the time, I was struggling to get my carpal tunnel under control, and my feet and ankles had started to swell (all three are much more under control now). Having Dad here to help us made it easier for me to not push myself to overdo it, and it made it possible for Puck to not take time off work to move – time that he’ll be able to use to spend with our boys when they get here.
Some of my favorite memories of having my dad out here though aren’t directly related to the move:
Our big haul of cherries
- getting to sit on our new back porch in the cool evenings and chat,
- picking cherries together,
- taking Dad to try new foods like Indian and Mongolian barbeque (which he really liked),
- listening to the wonderful stories of my dad’s youth (some that I always enjoy hearing and some new ones),
- having him with us during one of the ultrasounds so he could see Dominic and Alexander in action,
- him getting to feel the boys push and kick and see how they stretch my belly into odd shapes in the evening,
- joking about just how huge my belly was going to get,
- him meeting so many of our friends out here, and
- having him come to one of our baby showers.
Happy Father's Day!
Much, much love to you on Father’s Day and every day.
Today our boys are 28 weeks old, and we’ve finally reached Homefree Day! What is Homefree Day? It’s the much anticipated pregnancy benchmark when 90% of children born at 28 weeks survive, and survival rates only continue to improve from there. It is, above all, reassuring to know that our babies could be born now and have a decent chance of survival. Now, all we have to do is keep taking care of them and let them get bigger, stronger and more ready for the world outside.
Our Boys
As their dad said in his last post, Settling In, Dominic and Alexander have been on the move of late. In the past two ultrasounds they were hanging out as bunkbed mates, but in the last week they seem to be shifting around a bit more. Usually, Alexander likes to push out night and day on the upper right (when you’re looking at me) side of the belly – sometimes with his head and others with his little hand. At times he’s pushing out all across my upper belly, and you can feel him from head to rump. Dominic tends to hang out lower, and he doesn’t push out on Mom as much – though we do suspect that might mean he’s pushing on his brother. He occassionally pops out with a large bulge on the lower left (again from the perspective of someone looking at me), and in the last week or two he’s started kicking more.
The Belly
The Full Moon Belly
The hugeness of the belly means that whenever I stand up now I have to take a moment or two as my body adjusts to the weight shifting. It kind of feels like a sudden shift in my center of gravity and sometimes of late it feels a bit like a bowling ball suddenly rolls forward inside my belly. Stand. Wait. Adjust. Then walk. Surprisingly, one of the pregnancy symptoms I haven’t hit yet is a lot of back pain, and that’s a blessing.
Dad Update
Puck has been wonderful about taking over the nightly excursions to the backyard with Shakti, and he often wakes up on his own when she gets up. If I shift around too much or start to get up, he startles awake and anxiously asks, “What? What? Is it Shakti? Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Hopefully, he’s still managing to get enough sleep.
He’s been working on different sections of the house too. He got our entertainment center all put together last night (just a few more things to get plugged in), and we bought some carousels for our corner kitchen cabinets. He’s also been making headway on the man-cave. We hope to do some work on organizing the nursery this coming weekend.