Hunter-Gather considers his role in the Karmic Universe.

Guest Post From Puck:

WifeWatch 2010

Here is our update.

Food

Mary’s sense of smell has flipped on like a teenage superpower and this means that we can’t necessarily rely on leftovers.  Sometimes Tex-Mex bean dip sounds great and other times she can’t get within 10 feet of it.  It seems to be largely random and that means rapid adaptability in the kitchen.

Her stomach is also a little more sensitive to acidic food like lasagna so this morning I surprised my workmates with an entire pan of baked lasagna leftovers.  They were ecstatic and I was a bit sad to see it go.  (I saved a bit for myself, and I will eat it in secret.  Seriously, good lasagna is the gift that keeps on giving.)

Lots of Eggs…

We buy large flats of eggs with two trays of 30 stacked on top of each other.  They are little protein bombs waiting to go off and we have been cooking with them liberally here.  Mary’s day starts with fiber-rich crackers, 2 hard boiled eggs, and a glass of milk.

The other item of note is that while normally we would make steak and eggs with the eggs sunny-side up, Mary doesn’t get to eat raw eggs until she is no longer “great with child” (or in her case, “greater with children”).  With that in mind, Mary’s eggs are always fully cooked.

If you have never had one, an English breakfast is a wonderful protein hit that exactly meets Mary’s recommended food lists.  I’ll get a picture next time I cook one up and show how to put it together.

Last night was chicken alfredo sautéed in a slightly sweet butter lemon cream sauce with Italian seasoning and mint served over a bed of steamed broccoli.  It sounds good, but I think it was still missing something, and I’m going to keep working on it.

Mood

Morning Sickness

We had a brief episode of morning sickness on Sunday.  I tend to wake up first, and I heard Mary in the bathroom having a bad time of it.  A bit of husbandly rushing around and we got past it.

Here are the tools in my morning sickness arsenal:

1. Fiber-rich crackers by the bed and lazy wake-ups.  We set the alarm to go off early and she eats a few crackers before she stands up.  The distribution of blood in her body has also changed significantly, and moms can feint if they stand up too quickly.  This means I harp at her in the morning to eat crackers and get out of bed slowly.
2. A cold washcloth for the back on the neck.
3. Added a small bucket to the bathroom.  (Really, you don’t want to choose between sitting on the toilet or bending over it.  With a bucket, you can do both.)
4. Hair-tie.
5. Lemon juice.  (Rub it on her hands and have her hold them to her face.  The scent is supposed to help with nausea.)
6. Ginger candy – Another reported nausea fighter.

Anecdotally, Mary thinks that her nausea kicks off when her fuel tanks run low.  If the equation is “empty tummy equals upset tummy”, we can work to ensure that happens as little as possible.  Certainly, the twins will benefit from it.  We haven’t had any further morning sickness incidents yet, but we will keep an eye on that.

Jumpiness

The other thing I have noticed is that she has gotten really jumpy.  After several incidents over the last 2 days I have identified the M-scale of Mary scare-ification.

The Scare-ification M-Scale

• M1 – A Tiny Jump or Jump-ito: This occurs when the husband appears unexpectedly and speaks or moves in the presence of the pregnant woman.  In this case, the husband shall be lightly chastised.
• M2 – The Profanity Defense: An M2 Level offense occurs when the husband moves about the house quietly and then says something behind his wife who is innocently sitting on the sofa when he should be in his stupid bed sleeping.  Why the hell isn’t he in his stupid bed?!  What the hell is he trying to do getting out of bed and creeping about the house like some sort of burglar?!  If he needs to pee, he should have done it earlier or taken a 2-liter bottle with him.  In this case, the husband shall be sworn at with profanity.  Any profanity uttered by the pregnant woman shall be karmically re-assigned to the husband.
• M3 – Fight and Flight: The serious M3 Level offense occurs when the husband appears suddenly while the wife’s eyes have been closed and are then re-opened.  At this point, the husband can legally be struck several times with any nearby object before the pregnant wife attempts to escape through the nearest exit or, if no exit presents itself, by creating a new exit from an existing wall or structure.  Any strikes to the husband will be accompanied by several Amazonian battle-shrieks intended to intimidate predators, small animals, Great Danes, and any masculine lifeform.  As in the previous M-2 level Profanity Defense, wounds, injuries, or bludgeoning of the husband shall be karmically considered self-inflicted.

Sleep

The afternoon nap yesterday hit 3 hours which is good because she sleeps a bit more fitfully at night.  My hope is that means she is getting enough sleep.  We have a small army of pillows on the bed which she can arrange however she likes.  That might not mean much now, but later I expect getting her comfy will be a pillow-intensive process.

Babies Countdown – The Double Header

Thursday has become “twin day” in our house because that’s when we roll into the next twin week.  Every week we cross off without problems gets us one week closer.

• Wednesday, February 3 is our next ultrasound and we will be asking more directed questions and talk about picking a permanent OB-GYN.
• Thursday, February 4 is 9 Weeks pregnant.
• Thursday, February 25 and our 5 week sprint ends which gets us to 12 weeks.
• Wednesday, March 3 is Mary’s Birthday which gets us to the second trimester.  At this point, we unlock the veil of secrecy and get to tell everyone.
• Thursday, May 7 and the twins become viable as early as 22 weeks.
• Thursday, May 20 and 90% of twins born at 24 weeks survive and that number only gets better from here on out.
• Thursday, August 12 and we hit our goal of 36 weeks minimum.  From here on the twins could come at any time.

Next goal? – Still have not assembled the nursery.