Dreams

Since fairly early in my pregnancy, I’ve had a few dreams that have stuck with me, though I should warn you that they are a bit bizarre and the last two were a bit stressful for me.

Dream 1: Baby Mountain

Baby Mountain

The first I remember is of a village next to a tall mountain. The local male priests lived at the top of the mountain and the “gods” regularly demanded a female “sacrifice” who was taken up the mountain. Sometimes, the gods would bestow blessed children who would walk as toddlers from the mouth of a cave at the bottom of the mountain, and they were honored in the village as children of the gods. (Yes, when I woke up I thought this sounded like an awfully convenient setup for the priests, and Puck pointed out that the children coming out of the cave sounded a lot like a birthing metaphor.)

Dream 2: Mom-zilla

Saving the Bride from Mom-zilla

In another dream I recall I was getting very angry with a woman who was bullying her daughter to do everything in her wedding the way the mother wanted. In the dream, the daughter was a friend, and I finally just lost it. I was red-faced and yelling at the mother to let her daughter have the wedding she wants. For those of you who know me well, you know that I rarely yell, and my anger actually made this dream a bit of a nightmare because I got so worked up that my face was flushed and my heart was pounding. In the dream, I thought, “I have to calm down or I might hurt my babies” and when I woke up shortly after that thought, my heart was pounding and I felt generally stressed.

(Now, I should note that this woman did not resemble my own mother and that I did not feel bullied by my mother when I was getting married nor do I feel bullied by her now. In fact, I’m very thankful to be able to call my mom (and dad, siblings and friends) to share my enthusiasm and to hear her advice. I find it even more beneficial because years ago my mom was an RN and worked for an Ob/Gyn which gives her a much broader perspective on the diverse experiences of pregnancy. My mom has been extremely supportive, and I must admit I look forward to calling her every time something new happens in the pregnancy. Plus, I enjoy her stories about her experiences having all four of her children.)

Dream 3: You’re Stealing My Food!

Mummy Pizza Delivers

Yesterday, I had another stressful dream/nightmare. It started with the doorbell ringing and a young woman starting her “selling” pitch. She had a tall, large fellow with her who had a large pizza box. Apparently, she was offering a slice of pepperoni to people so they would listen to her story. Unfortunately, even in the dream I found her story difficult to follow. She was a veteran of some type, and at one point she pulled a mummy out of the wheel well of her car (Don’t ask me how she got it in there or why.) to show me what she had seen during the war. Then, she wanted to set up a machine made of wood to show me how it worked. I opened the garage, and she set up the machine and started to explain.

At some point, I realized the guy had gone into the house, and when I followed him in, I discovered other young adults inside stealing things, and Shakti (our Great Dane) was interested in what everyone was doing but not at all concerned. What really got me riled was that they were stealing my food. I started shouting at them, “Do you know I am pregnant with twins? You are stealing food from my babies!!!” and as my voice took on an almost hysterical tone I yelled, “Do you know how much food I have to eat!!!”

Needless to say, I chased them out of my house and several of them looked a bit ashamed of themselves. After I had the house to myself again, I was shaking from anger and a little fear, and I locked the door and thought, “Ok, now I need to call Puck and the police.” That’s when I woke up to find my heart thumping away as if I had just chased thieves from my house, and I just felt stressed. I IMed Puck at work, and he said to go ahead and give him a call. After telling him about the dream, I felt much better.

A Few Thoughts

While I generally don’t feel stressed about my pregnancy, I must save up some of those feelings for my dreams. It is interesting that all three dreams have to do with issues of control (or lack of it). One of the miracles and frustrations of pregnancy is how little control you have over so many aspects of your own body and over the development of your little ones. You wait anxiously through the first trimester, especially if you’ve had an early miscarriage scare, spotting or other worrying symptoms, and you hope for the best.

Fortunately, there are a number of things you can control to give your body and the little ones what they need, such as sleep, diet, exercise, vitamins, regular visits to your Ob/Gyn, etc. However, even as it is empowering to be able to give up caffeine or take power naps, you also have to be careful not to blame yourself if something goes wrong with the pregnancy or if the baby is born with special challenges. You can’t play the “What if…” game with yourself: What if I hadn’t eaten that chocolate muffin in the seventh week? What if I had eaten more vegetables in the ninth week? What if I had exercised less/more?

What can I do? Well, I believe in staying as positive as possible about what I can’t control, researching my options, and doing all that I can in the aspects of the pregnancy that I can control. I am also very fortunate to have a husband who is actively engaged in this process. He researches, plans ahead, creates contingency plans, and reminds me to take care of myself and the twins. At the same time, he does everything he can to make this pregnancy a healthy and happy experience.

Now it is time for me to be off to bed. I wonder what I’ll dream tonight?

*Pictures courtesy of Puck!