{"id":582,"date":"2010-01-18T20:36:03","date_gmt":"2010-01-18T19:36:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.puckandmary.com\/blog_mary\/?p=582"},"modified":"2010-02-19T10:26:16","modified_gmt":"2010-02-19T18:26:16","slug":"the-hunter-gatherer-writes-a-blog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.puckandmary.com\/blog_mary\/2010\/01\/the-hunter-gatherer-writes-a-blog\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hunter-Gatherer Writes a Blog…"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Hunter-Gather<\/a>

Hunter-Gatherer considers his plans...<\/p><\/div>\n

Guest Post from Puck:<\/h2>\n

So my wife is pregnant.<\/p>\n

First, I should engage in the token gloat:<\/p>\n

“Aren’t we just terribly fertile?!<\/strong><\/em>“<\/p>\n

However much we planned for this and wanted it to happen, it is still news to me.\u00a0 Unlike Mary, I don’t have any obvious biological indicators that we are having a baby but it is mutating my thought patterns in intrusive and masculine ways.<\/p>\n

I normally keep a running plan in my head about what is coming next.\u00a0 As soon as I heard the word “Honey!<\/strong><\/em><\/span>” from the bathroom, there was an entirely different criteria for how I planned my future.\u00a0 A large collection of previous plans (a conference, purchases, weekend plans, and more) were tossed to the side as being too frivolous.<\/p>\n

Instead they were replaced with WifeWatch 2010<\/strong> and the Baby Countdown.<\/strong><\/p>\n

WifeWatch 2010<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I am breaking this down into 3 key groups:\u00a0 Mood, Food<\/strong>, and Sleepiness<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mood<\/h3>\n

The first thing most men hear about pregnant women is that they go from being normal women to irrational, food craving, hormone rockets that might explode at random.\u00a0 With this in mind, 1.7 nanoseconds after the word “Honey!<\/strong><\/em><\/span>” was translated by my brain I accepted that I was ready to bear the brunt of any explosion.\u00a0 Everyone will get grumpy from time to time and my wife has always been exceptional about giving me good information when she is having a bad day.<\/p>\n

At that moment, I mentally wrote her a blank check.\u00a0 If necessary, I will hide the bodies of the people she kills and will accept that their righteous deaths are probably my fault.<\/p>\n

Here too is the need to ensure that my wife realizes how gorgeous and amazing she is.\u00a0 There will be body changes, unexpected drama, and discomfort but it is my job to make certain she knows that she is in fact, the smartest, most beautiful woman on the earth.<\/p>\n

This is only the first part of WifeWatch 2010<\/strong>.\u00a0 Are her moods stable?\u00a0 Actually, she is surprisingly rational… for now.<\/p>\n

Food<\/strong><\/h3>\n

As my wife is in danger of becoming irrational at any moment, I need to step in as hunter-gatherer and ensure that she gets enough protein, vegetables, and especially calcium to keep her healthy.\u00a0 As my friend Aeddan once told me, “Baby will get his calcium.<\/strong><\/em><\/span>”<\/p>\n

If a mother is not taking in enough calcium through her diet, the baby can deplete the mother’s bones leading to osteoporosis.\u00a0 That means we have milk, cheese, prenatal vitamins, and a ready supply of calcium rich antacids which help with mommy’s upset tummy and secretly dose her with calcium at the same time.<\/p>\n

My other red flag is her hunger curve.\u00a0 Normally, my wife has a hunger curve that provides us anywhere from 30 minutes up to an hour before she goes from hungry<\/strong><\/span> to grumpy<\/strong><\/span>.\u00a0 At any point that pregnant-wife tells me she wants to eat, there will be food.\u00a0 The smart hunter-gather carries self-protective Mommy-snacks which are intended to increase his own life expectancy.<\/p>\n

I have populated the house with quick snacks including bed-side emergency crackers which should help with a queasy stomach.\u00a0 As I usually cook for us, I am also trying to ensure that she gets the food she needs for healthy baby-building which includes a fair share of meat and eggs (protein) cooked in an iron skillet (iron).\u00a0 Lunch is typically a salad with chicken and her snacks are typically cheese, yogurt, bran crackers, and steamed milk with sugar free hazlenut syrup or a decaf tea.\u00a0 (Caffeine has been largely eliminated and alcohol is completey gone.)<\/p>\n

I’m also looking at new recipes which should provide us with multiple meals in one shot which leaves us quick-heating left overs.\u00a0 The no-pasta lasagna was frankly pretty stunningly good.<\/p>\n

Sleepiness<\/h3>\n

We hit a spot of luck with Mary’s teaching schedule this quarter because she can come home after lunch and power nap.\u00a0 While she doesn’t look pregnant yet to the untrained eye, she gets pretty fatigued around midday.\u00a0 These aren’t light dozey naps either.\u00a0 These are the hibernating she-bear naps.\u00a0 Nuff said.<\/p>\n

The Baby Countdown<\/h2>\n

There is the state of being pregnant and then there is the process.\u00a0 For any engineering process, there exists an implementation plan and this baby is no exception.<\/p>\n

First, we need the manual for the device.\u00a0 I ordered one for her and one for me.<\/p>\n