From the Twin-Daddy:
You know you are a twin-daddy when:
The Family Dinner
- You make certain to use the bathroom at work because you may not have time at home.
- You have the “baby sway” and will rock any object, anywhere, anytime to make it sleep.
- You can open a childproof medicine cap one-handed.
- You can feed a baby, read a book, and rock the other baby with your foot at the same time.
- You typically reheat your coffee more than twice.
- Any watching of television occurs while pinned to the sofa by sleeping babies. If you can’t reach the remote, you could end up trapped watching America’s Top Model. After several months, you may actually enjoy it.
Even Shakti has babysitting duties
- At the end of every day, you have a collection of baby drool on your shoulder and chest.
- You count a day without getting peed or pooped on as a pretty good day. If you only got peed on, really… that’s still fairly good.
- In order to get at your dinner while it is warm, you eat with a child strapped to you in the baby bjorn carrier keeping the plate over his head so you don’t get crumbs on him.
- You walk in on your wife singing a song and the lyrics are, “You have explosive poop!”
October 22nd, 2010 at 12:32 am
You also know you’re a twin parent when…
–you’ve mastered the art of picking up and carrying two babies at once
–you hear “double the trouble” and counter with “twice as nice” on a weekly basis
–you go through at least 15-25 diapers a day
–you find yourself digging through stacks of clothes for coordinating outfits
–you’ve at least vaguely considered the advantages of adult diapers
–only 1 baby crying isn’t half bad
–you don’t have to take turns to hold (and love on) a baby
*****
You know you’re an identical twin parent when…
–you’ve researched words like “monochorionic” and “diamniotic”
–you have to label your photos before you confuse your own children
–you’ve discussed the advantages and disadvantages of circumcision, tattoos, and painted toenails to tell your boys apart
October 22nd, 2010 at 5:56 am
That is hilarious. Luckily I did not drink coffee when the girls were small so I didn’t have to reheat the coffee, but all the rest is so familiar. My advice to all new parents…in the morning as you roll out of bed to greet the crying baby…always go to the bathroom first and brush your teeth…then get the baby or babies…if not…could be a while before you can!
Love the update!!!!
Teresa
October 22nd, 2010 at 1:15 pm
I plan to save this twin daddy addition because if I feel down, which I seldom do, I will click this up and it will make me laugh or will at least put a smile on my face.
One of my dear friends had twin girls when we lived next door to them during Norman, Ok days. Her Mother, a dear lady, came and help her home from the hospital with the twins and promptly left for Orlando, Ok. I took dinner to her because the dinner I had cooked to entertain my father-in-law and brother-in-law, were over nighting at our house and my father-in-law insisted on taking us to dinner in OKC. I couldn’t pass up dinner out during Bob’s college days and my working days. Isn’t it strange what one selects to remember.
October 23rd, 2010 at 5:28 am
Very amusing, although ruefully true.
Is Shakti’s dinner interrupted yet? (Or does that come later when they start sampling her food?